Habit Forming

Not this kind of habit.

I have come to realize that being home with my 2-kid wrecking crew will require me to create some better habits. I could let the house fall to pieces and basically live in relative filth or I can build some routines to better manage this zoo.

I'll take Building Better Habits to Better Manage This Zoo for $1,000, Alex.

I've been receiving the Fly Lady emails for about a year or so and have tried implementing that system. It seems to do wonders for other people's households and if I actually follow through with her ideas, I think it would go a long way to managing the chaos here too. Except that...

I don't think the Fly Lady anticipated my unique brand of children. I referred to them above as a 2-kid wrecking crew and I wasn't exaggerating. Well, maybe a little, but not really.

Just before I started dinner yesterday, I picked up all the toys in the kitchen and put them where they belong in the family room. I also asked my darling son, 4, to come get all his crap precious things off the kitchen table so I could set it for dinner. He happily complied, but before I got back into the kitchen from putting all the "floor toys" back into the family room, which is literally one step away from the kitchen, my dear daughter had brought her purse into the kitchen and unloaded it and also found that "someone" had left the diaper bag unzipped and emptied its contents onto the floor. I saw the mess as soon as I stepped into the kitchen, but I didn't see the tiny Jessie doll before stepping on it. That dang thing is worse than a lego.

On Friday, I cleaned up Junior's room, then moved on to Miss A's room, only to have the kids destroy Junior's room as I cleaned Miss A's. Then when I went in to demand that they put Junior's room back together, Miss A slipped past me and strew the contents of her changing table shelves all about her room.

Basically, I am wondering if instead of trying to create new habits and routines for our family, I should just build shelves approximately 5 1/2 - 6 feet off the ground on every single wall and put everything on them thereby removing the temptation to scatter anything they can pick up. Oh, and they should just watch TV all day, every day so I can get rid of all these blasted toys.

Not my best ideas.

So I am using October as my "Habit Forming" month. This month I am going to work my morning and bedtime routines to the max. I am going to figure out the schedule that will actually work for this family. Finally I will be doing some major decluttering around here. I think that clutter is a big part of our problem and if I can get that stuff under control, life will run much more smoothly.

I'm going to use my blog to be accountable and to document my progress.

So far today, here's what's happened:

• Woke up early and showered and dressed before 7:30am (minor miracle).
• Finished homeschooling for the day at 8:35am
• Took Junior to swim class and only yelled once when he peeked under the partition into the changing room next to us just to see "who is having a rough day over there" (again, minor miracle).
• Made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast
• Spaced out and got sucked into the interweb for about an hour Not good!!!
• Hung the cloth diapers out to dry in the sun at which time the sun promptly vacated the premises. The weatherman tricked me. They said 70s and sunny. Instead we got 60s and gloomy.
• Fed the kids lunch
• Put Miss A down for her nap
• Mowed the lawn
• Trimmed the bushes and overgrown trees and cleaned up that mess
• Planned dinner
• Typed this post

 A few of my bigger organizational goals for the month are:

• Define my morning, bed time routines and cleaning routines
• Clean up and organize the basement (well, it's only been 1 year and 9 months that we've lived here, so it's about time to get that mess under control). I don't expect this to be totally done this month, but progress must be made and clearly visible to my father. He has very high energy levels and very little tolerance for (other people's) clutter.
• Meal Plan -  3 meals a day (with some wiggle room for leftovers and outings)
• Get paper clutter under control (Fly Lady's habit of the month); focusing on family pictures, recipes, and getting our filing system in order
• Get sprinkler system winterized
• Finish organizing the closet and dresser/bookshelf area in our bedroom
• Not getting lost in the internet during the morning hours
• Go to Homeschool group and Moms and Tots group at our parish (introverted mama can't seem to get herself out the door to these events, but I must do this for my kids no matter how much it pains me to meet new people)

I am using several blogs and ideas to get me moving in a positive direction and I'll share that information with you as I go. I've been doing some reading on home economics, homemaking and basically how to be a stay-at-home mom. It's not a secret that I've been struggling with this transition to SAHMotherhood. I feel a little lost without a boss to be accountable to and deadlines to meet. I want to be good at this stay at home thing and I want to really live out my vocation as a wife and mother to the very best of my ability. So here goes!

Looking for a little serenity before the three kid tornado hits.

7QT (vol. 8)

Linking up with the incomparable Jen over at Conversion Diary for another fine episode of 7 Quick Takes Friday. For my 7QT this week, I thought I'd do a little catch up on all things random.

(1) 

My daughter love, love, loves her Uncle. My parents have a picture of him in his police uniform on a table in their family room, just a head & shoulders shot. Each and every time we go over there, our baby girl just stares at her Uncle with a sappy, gooey look in her eyes. Last time we were there she reached out and grabbed the picture and walked around with it the remainder of the visit. And I found her sitting on the floor smooching his picture, then laying her head affectionately on it. Very sweet. Thing is, she acts totally shy around him when she sees him IRL. He will talk to her, pick her up, cuddle her, squeeze her, and basically love her up and NOTHING. She just stares blankly at him, as if she's never seen him in her life. And she sees him at least once a week. Silly girl.

(Breaking News: Since I wrote this post, my brother came over in his police uniform with his squad car to prove to my son that he really is a policeman. My daughter was quite impressed, and even let him pick her up this morning without crying. I'm not making him any promises...but it looks like she's made the connection between the handsome guy in the picture and the Uncle that is always hugging her.)

(2)

I had an allergic reaction to something this week. Last Wednesday evening my left index finger swelled up and was very sore. I thought I had injured it. Thursday morning I called my family doctor to make an appointment because it was still painful and swollen. Thursday evening, my middle finger on my left hand and my index finger on my right hand swelled up - and itched like crazy. Ugh! I figured it must've been from the oral progesterone I had just started up again (got to stop the painful Intra-muscular injections!!! YAY!!!). I had taken the oral medication before with no problems, so it seemed a little mysterious to me. Then I woke up on Friday morning and noticed that my lip was a little tingly. Over the next few hours, this happened:

Pretty, huh? My doctor said it was probably a reaction to the oral progesterone. My OB/GYN thinks it is from a dye or other component of the generic medication and suggested we try brand name instead. So I stopped taking it for a few days until I could get the brand name drug. But then on Monday afternoon, my lip started feeling tingly again and I ended up looking about the same, only with the swelling localized to the other side of my lip. I saw the allergist on Thursday, and he thinks it's a reaction to the baby aspirin I take daily.

I've been taking baby aspirin practically daily for the past few years due to the recurrent pregnancy losses we experience. My OB/GYN suspected a clotting disorder, but didn't feel like we should go through the trouble of actually testing me since he would just put me on baby aspirin anyhow. Since I started taking it, we've had our daughter and have successfully made it to (tomorrow) 18 weeks in this pregnancy. The allergist suggested I get a hematologist to work with my NaPro OB/GYN (who is actually a different OB/GYN than the one who I see for my routine care) to get me tested for whatever clotting disorders I am suspected of having to determine if I actually need the baby aspirin or not.

These tests are quite expensive; the two I've been told I should be tested for are MFTHR and Factor V Leiden and each test costs over $2,000 which is not covered by my insurance. (Don't get me started on why they won't cover it...let's just say it has to do with how insurance is happy to cover anything related to terminating a pregnancy or preventing pregnancies from ever occurring...but they just can't bring themselves to cover anything related to sustaining a pregnancy (like my progesterone injections or oral progesterone) or finding out why we keep losing pregnancies. Oh crap! I started ranting. Must. Stop. Now.) And now on top of it all, because I left my job and I carried our insurance, our insurance ends on Saturday. We are going onto the coverage offered through Mr. Amen's job though immediately. The only issue:  we just met our deductible under my insurance plan during this month...$3,000. Insurance is just starting to pay for stuff for us. Now on Sunday we start a new plan (through the same insurer) and now have a $3,600 deductible to meet before insurance will cover anything. Delightful!

Praise God Mr. Amen has a job that offers insurance, that he has a job that allows us to pay the premiums (and eventually the deductible!!), and that we are a typically pretty healthy family!

(3)

Look at what we've gotten out of our garden! I was so excited to plant it, but didn't keep up with weeding it. Then we had the watering situation get a little out of control, but now. Now, just look at these monster zucchini!! And all these adorable tomatoes. Plus the beans. I think the peas are also yielding like crazy, but we also have some poisonous red berry plant things, so I am a little afraid to pick the peas because I'm not sure they really are peas, since they aren't where I planted them.

(4)

My SIL commented on a FB post of a friend of hers (another blogger) who asked if anyone veiled or had thought about doing so at Mass. My SIL isn't Catholic anymore (or should I say, "again yet"?) so had no idea what her friend was referring to. I clicked through the links provided and happened upon a link to a site that shows how to tie scarves and head coverings in various ways. I was fascinated, and because Mr. Amen buys me silk scarves on all his adventures, I thought I'd try 'em out. I don't use the scarves because I feel like they just add bulk, where none is required on my lusty frame, so I figured my head, which seems comparably small to the rest of my voluminous silhouette, would be a great place to try to get some use out of these beautiful gifts.

Or not.

(5)

I decided that in order to save some moolah, I would give my sweet Junior his haircut. It went just fine. He was very patient and didn't cry at all. It turned out well - can I really screw up giving him a buzz cut? At the end of the haircut, he noticed my husband's santa hat and a Christmas stocking among the Christmas decorations in the basement. He's been wearing them ever since. So, I guess, Merry Christmas, everyone!

The hat is pushing his ears out (even further) and making him appear almost elf-like.

(6)

I made a cheesecake last week. It was divine. Very silky and creamy, with a layer of chocolate at the bottom. Cheesecakes are one of the easiest cakes to make, which may seem surprising to some people, but it is true. Enjoy this fine picture courtesy of my phone (as are all these wretched pictures - one day, I promise, I will figure out how to upload pictures from my actual camera)!

(7)

Lastly, this is what greets me each and every morning when my husband is in town. How can one adorable man use so many cups in the morning? OK, the sippy cup and one of the coffee mugs isn't his, those are for Junior's hot chocolate. But seriously?!?!

One last funny, my son was just trying to turn on the DVD player to watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and it wouldn't open so he said, "Hey, you! Open up in the name of Jesus!" Too cute.

Click on over to Jen's lovely blog for more 7QTers. Have a delightful, long weekend

Date night...what the what?

This week is shaping up to be pretty interesting around here. It's my second week at home with the kids full-time, fourth week not working at my old job. Reality is setting in.

There's the never ending loop of make a meal, clean up a meal, make a snack, clean up a snack, make a meal, clean up a meal, make a snack, clean up a snack, make a meal, clean up a meal...and round and round we go. I told Mr. Amen last night that I feel like that's all I do.

But I know that's not true.

I also get to sweep the floor, do laundry and change diapers.

And that's not all. For the low, low price of feeling like my brain is melting, I am getting repaid in unlimited kisses, hugs, cuddles and adorably sweet comments from the eldest offspring, and scrunchy-nosed smiles from the latest ex-utero offspring.

Last Friday after we set up camp at my parents' house for the day due to numerous doctor appointments requiring someone other than me looking after these little monkeys, my son, on his way to the bathroom to wash his sticky hands said, "Mama, you sure are taking great care of me and sissy." What could be better than that? I don't think there's a paycheck in the world that can compare to a 4 year old's compliments about my shoddy childcare skills.

But there are moments I'd be tempted to run off in search of that paycheck .

Do I sound like I am having some love-not-so-love moments over here?

We are still trying to work out our daily routine and we have to start school next week. I have a tentative schedule set up for school days, but I really feel like it is pretty unrealistic at this point. Everything with the kids takes much longer than I think it should.

Example? Certainly. Here's baby girl after her marathon hour and half long breakfast eating session.

Her meal times are a good time to both contain her and work with my little hombre on his schoolwork.

 So all this to say that I called my mom last night to ask if she could do me 2 favors. One, I had made plans with some girlfriends for Thursday evening, but Mr. Amen has to work late and wouldn't be home in time to takeover munchkin duty...so I called in the reinforcements. Of course, my parents are more than willing to pinch hit for us, so "ploblem" easily solved.

Next request/favor:  Would they possibly be available at any point over the next ten days to watch the nut-free peanuts one evening so we could go on a "date" before his next 3 week business trip? Seriously, ya'll (all 2 of you!!), they said yes again and we are actually going to go on a date on Saturday night. We'll skeddadle off to Mass first, then drop the Amen family members that cannot wipe their own butts off at my 'rents before those that can enjoy not having to finely chop and blow-until-cool every item on a dinner plate.

Now to find a restaurant we haven't been to yet, that has a good coupon available. Because I haven't found a restaurant yet that will take the currency I get paid now.

Post 7 of 7

That was a pathetic attempt at 7 posts in 7 days. It turned into 7 posts in 9 days? Oh well. Such is life. Last week of work is underway. I had lunch with my boss today; let's just say it was interesting. On my way home, I got a call from the daycare that Junior was sick with a fever and had essentially passed out on the bean bag chair. Awesome! Well, at least Mr. Amen has tomorrow off work so I don't have to take the day off. And now this tidbit of wisdom from my 4 year old. "If you get sick at dinner, then your bellies might hurt." Just in case you didn't know.

Post 6 of 7

Saturday is winding down. Mr. Amen is home from China. The kids are both in bed and I am finally sitting down. The weather has cooled off considerably and the windows are open. How lovely. But mostly I just want to go to sleep. Mass in the morning, laundry all day and dinner with my family (if mom can kick this nastiness she has been dealing with for the past two weeks). A day like tomorrow has me longing for the office on Monday, and you know how much I love my job. In other pleasant news, I have been feeling the baby move over the past week. Which is totally early. Around 12 weeks I thought I was feeling the baby, but thought there was no way, but I guess the more pregnancies a woman has the earlier she can feel the baby. Of course this all depends heavily on many factors, but I guess it really is the baby and I am not crazy. Phew!

Post 5 of 7 - My Departure Memo

Well, since I got to be home in the afternoon today, I thought I'd post a little early and get my Departure Memo up for your reading pleasure. For privacy reasons and because I am a Compliance girl in my heart, I removed the name(s) of the firm(s) I worked for and everyone else's name has been taken out.

I can't believe I am really leaving the firm and that my last day is next Friday. It's gonna be very strange not getting up, getting dressed and driving the ~30 miles to the office 5 days a week. There are definitely aspects of the job I will miss. There are many aspects that I won't miss at all (I'm looking at you, assistant from h-e-double-hockey-sticks). Here is what was posted for everyone to read:

I have drafted my partner speech a thousand times, but didn’t anticipate writing a green memo. My career at [firm name] and her related entities is winding down and I write this filled with a mix of emotions including sadness, nervousness, trepidation, giddiness, and anticipation of good things on the horizon. When I tell you that I’m eagerly expecting our third child in January, you’ll probably blame these tumultuous emotions on those darn “pregnancy hormones”. But I think if you’ve known me over the past 10 years, you’ll recognize that an emotional melting pot like the one above is almost always present under the cool and collected surface of your favorite Compliance Harasser Annoyer Analyst.

I’ve made the truly difficult decision to leave the firm to pursue other “interests”. These interests consist primarily of changing diapers of the non-fresh variety for the self-made army of short people that is rapidly taking over my home, ruining my stuff, and spending my money. But I’ll also have time to focus on other fun things such as homeschooling my kindergartener, continuing to speak at medical conferences and to write articles and curriculums for various publications and organizations, and, finally, perfecting my original recipes for delectable nut-free baked goods. Yes, I am that strange; you probably already had an inkling.

Recently, when Drew & Mike went off the air at WRIF, I took the opportunity to reflect on my first day at the firm. Stick with me here. I was all nostalgic remembering the happy memories the show had brought me over the years and sat down to write them a note of appreciation. I recalled, driving to the office on my very first day at [firm name], being quite nervous and apprehensive. Of course, I was listening to their show as I drove when Drew Lane said something to the effect of, “well, it’s not like he had a job at a really great company like {firm name].” My mind was immediately at ease, knowing I’d made the right decision to join the firm. If Drew says [firm name] is a great company (firm, Drew, we’re a firm), then I know it really is.

You are likely familiar with green memo patterns and recognize this as the part where the writer gets sappy and begins to thank people for the many kind and generous opportunities provided and the helpful advice offered over the years. So, let’s get on with it.

Mr. ABC brought me into the firm back in July 2003 and I am glad he did. He was and still is a great asset to [firm name] and a generous leader. He took a chance on a temporary Okie that wanted to replant herself in Michigan. It was under Tom’s leadership that I had my first taste of the incredible [firm name] culture that is touted from sea to shining sea by current, former and wannabe [firm]ers.

From [firm], I moved over to [related firm entity] as an analyst for two years. Mr. BCD and Mr. CDE are two of the most amazingly knowledgeable professionals I have ever had the pleasure to encounter. Under their tutelage, I was challenged to expand my skill set beyond what I thought was possible. I still use many of the lessons I learned in [related firm entity] on a daily basis and probably always will. Ms. DEF and Ms. EFG were always there to keep me grounded, offer advice and a listening ear. I am grateful to know these fantastic people. To this day, I miss working with them.

After [related firm entity], I briefly left the firm (to take a nap…those [related firm entity] guys work A LOT). I was invited back to join [current related entity] by Mr. Boss. Now Mr. Boss, what can I say about Mr. Boss? He’s been my mentor in the Compliance field for almost 7 years. He’s given me the opportunity to grow, to learn, to make mistakes and to take the reins. He is the walking encyclopedia of compliance related laws, rules and regulations to my “no need to memorize it; it’s available on the interwebz” style. My career in compliance would have gone nowhere without his guidance and I am eternally in his debt because of it.

While here in [current related entity], I also got to work with the talented teams of [another legal entity] and [one more legal entity]. These folks are the real deal. I would be happy to refer my relatives to these firms, confident that they would be treated fairly and with respect.

A few others at the firm without whom I wouldn’t have lasted as long as I did: list of 28 people. Each of you has had a hand in my success at [current related entity] and I want to thank you for all you do to make this firm great. If I continue talking about this group of people, I will cry. And it will not be a pretty cry; I’m no Helen Harris III.

I’d like to thank Mr. Facilities Manager 1 and Mr. Facilities Manager 2 for saying that if my water broke in the office, they wouldn’t be mad at me. They confided that such a scenario is a recurring nightmare for them. I’m sorry I couldn’t make your dreams a reality.

Though my personal preference is not to do so, there are individuals at [current related entity] who forced me to memorize certain sections of the Policies and Procedures. Your relentless questioning of the rules, regulations, laws, policies, guidelines, canons, commandments, suggestions, dictums, edicts, regimens, statutes and precepts helped strengthen my resolve when you had me questioning myself. You are the reason I am so comfortable quoting section and page number of the P&Ps along with a solid “no” response, something for which my children thank you as well. On a serious note though, your unwillingness to accept an answer you didn’t understand because I wasn’t articulating the reason clearly enough challenged me to grow in my role and build confidence in my understanding and interpretation of our P&Ps. I appreciate your tenacity. But the answer is still “no.”

August 2^nd will be my last day at the firm. Feel free to keep in touch with me at [personal email address]. (If you find me on LinkedIn or Facebook, don’t worry, I will not be monitoring your postings for adherence to regulatory and firm restrictions anymore.) I’d love hearing from you and would welcome the chance to engage in an adult conversation from time to time. I wish each of you continued success in your wealth management careers and I look forward to hearing about all the great things you accomplish.

Post 4 of 7

So I remembered to do a post today. Barely. I am beyond tired and totally just want to crash right now. It was a long (short) day at work today, if that makes any sense at all. I only worked 8 hours...it's been a good long time since I've done that. I had lunch with my assistant. She invited me for a goodbye lunch, then at the end of the meal revealed that she had no intention of paying for that lunch and expected me to pick up the tab. I'll be putting that on my expense report. At the end of the day, I picked up the kids and took them to the ice cream store where our parish was holding a fundraiser for a group home for disabled orphans in Kenya. Junior was excited to get to eat dessert before dinner. As we were waiting for our ice cream, I noticed that my arm felt a little wet, looked down to see I had a leaky diaper of the #2 variety. Delightful. Then we headed over to my parents house for dinner and more fun. It was a pretty good day, but it took all the energy I had to empty the dishwasher, make bottles for the "baby" for tomorrow and tap out this pathetic post. Hopefully tomorrow I can get up the energy to turn on the real computer and put up my departure memo for your reading pleasure. I likely will since I have a doctor appointment in the afternoon and I have no intention of going back to the office afterwards. Until tomorrow...peace out!